26 Şubat 2010 Cuma

Topic : My favourite hause

In many occasions, people have asked me what would my dream house look like. I never really thought about it, but after seeing pictures of an apartment in New York, I immediately said that it was my dream house.Well, apartment.First of all, it is in the center of the city, on the very top of the building. Thanks to that, it has the most beautiful view to New York. The thing I liked about it the most, was that it is placed on the whole floor, so I would have all that space to myself. Considering that, it has its own private lift. After exiting the lift, you would enter a spacious impressive hallway with a large glass windows. The walls are covered with beige wallpapers and whole bunch of pictures. A beautiful red sofa is put facing the window. The kitchen is totally spacious. It has a high tap-room with bar chairs, as well as a beautiful eating table, made of glass, and chairs covered with white leather. The living room has such a modern design. Wall to the outside is totally made
out of glass, which gives it a special look. There is a huge plasma TV on the other wall, and in every corner of the room you can find speakers, as a part of Home Theater system. In the center of the room, there is a sofa, where you can sit or lie down while watching TV.A beautiful fireplace is put in the room to make it look, and if needed, feel warm.The bedroom is made in a white-red combination. The walls and the floor are white, and the bed and the curtains, as well as some decorations are red, which gives the room that special touch. There are also doors that lead to the dressing room which has a lots of clothes, a place for shoes, a big mirror with lights and a table for make-up. And finally, the bathroom,which is huge. It has a bath tub and a shower. It is made in gold-white combination, and it looks kind of antique.That is pretty much it about my dream house. I just hope I will get to it one day.

5 yorum:

  1. you began with past tense and continue present tense.hook and thesis statement are good.you could write more things in conclusion.It would be better.However,when we look the whole essay,it is really attractive.

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  2. hi uğur,
    I agree with seda. I think tenses you used don't fit with each other. In addition, there are some grammatical mistakes-- people have asked me what would my dream house look like-- like it. you used noun clauses but you used question form. I think thesis statement could have been more attractive. However, contend is really good. ı like. thank you for your essay:)

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  3. Bu yorum yazar tarafından silindi.

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  4. Dear Ugur,
    You have written quite an effective descriptive essay but still you can improve it. Look at the suggestions in the text.

    "In many occasions, people have asked me what would my dream house look like. I never really thought about it, but after seeing pictures of an apartment in New York, I immediately said(thought) that it was my dream house.??Well, apartment.First of all, it is in the center of the city, on the very top of the building. Thanks to that, it has the most beautiful view (of)to New York. The thing I liked about it the most??, was that it is placed on the ??top??whole floor, so I would have all that space to myself. Considering that, it has its own private lift. After exiting the lift, you would enter a spacious impressive hallway with a large glass windows. The walls are covered with beige wallpapers and whole bunch of pictures. A beautiful red sofa is put facing the window. The kitchen is totally spacious. It has a high ???tap-room with bar chairs, as well as a beautiful eating table, made of glass, and chairs covered with white leather. The living room has such a modern design. Wall to the outside is totally made
    out of glass, which gives it a special look. There is a huge plasma TV on the other wall, and in every corner of the room you can find speakers, as a part of Home Theater system. In the center of the room, there is a sofa??, where you can sit or lie down while watching TV.A beautiful fireplace is put in the room to make it look, and if needed, feel warm.The bedroom is made in a white-red combination. The walls and the floor are white, and the bed and the curtains, as well as some decorations?(,) are red, which gives the room that special touch. There are also doors that lead to the dressing room which has a lots of clothes, a place for shoes, a big mirror with lights and a table for make-up. ???(a fragent sentence)And finally, the bathroom,which is huge. It has a bath tub and a shower. It is made in gold-white combination, and it looks kind of antique.That is pretty much ??it about my dream house. I just hope I will get ??to it one day."

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  5. Hook and thesis statement is good but i think, you should improve your essay.However your essay is very effective. I like it so much

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